Sunday, 16th April brought back an ocean of beautiful memories. My daughter Adah was born eight years ago and my life changed forever.
I organized a surprise party for her and invited all her friends. Dressed as a princess, looking as amazing as always my Angel had an emptiness in her eyes, she tried hard to cover up her sadness with a smile and occasional burst of laughter. The day passed, before going to bed, she gave me a tight hug and said “Thank you! Dad for the lovely party”.
Though I knew, but I still asked, “Is there something bothering you my darling?”
” Dad there is this scary dream which has been disturbing me for a long time. There is a Dark Scary Shadow monster in my dream. This is my own shadow but is detached from me. I try very hard to get my shadow back but it runs away from me everytime I try to catch it. I feel so scared! I close all the lights of my bedroom to get rid of the Shadow monster. I jump into my bed and cover my head with a sheet ” she said.
This monster is the gift that she got three and half years back. Since then she has been fighting her battle against the feeling of incompleteness, rejection and depression, all because her biological mother abandoned her.
Leaving her to cope with the bewildering loss and a sense of deprivation. Questioning her self, “If I was really worthy of love, respect and affection my mother would have given it to me.”
Three and half years of the creative therapy and the Monster still looms large, troubling my little baby. Amazing is her resilience that she has been fighting it with all her might.
Every time she sees other kids with their mothers there is this longing in her eyes for what she has lost.
I have been trying hard to make sure that she is a happy and strong child but being honest, it sometimes seems as they say,” My Life feels like a test I didnt study for.”
I promise you my child! I will do all that needs to be done to make sure that you feel loved, safe, secure and happy. Together we will kill this Shadow Monster by the grace of our Lord!!